Ok I have one question!

1 - So your writing and style is amazing and I love it. Are you extremely proud of yourself, or do you constantly self-critique like I do?

That's really it. =]

Thanks for that lovely comment, hoodie! I usually am quiet proud about my fanfic, but I think that is partly because I see Darlton handling the story in such a lame way and missing so many opportunities, I kinda feel like I can improve and fill in the gaps of their story. But then, I'm much less proud when it comes to my own original fic. I'm extremely self-critical with my own stories!

You should feel accomplished. That is a very impressive list. Although I have individual stories of yours saved to my memories, I will also save this whole list for rainy day readings. I'm looking forward to your last fanon story which is apparently doubling as your last Lost fic.

1. Is there a detail(s) you created about a character(s) that often slipped into your stories and became your own personal canon?
2. What character POV was hardest to writer? Easiest?
3. If only one of your stories could turn into canon, which one would you want?
4. Was there a story you always meant to write and didn't/couldn't?
5. What would you say is your strength and weaknesses as a writer?

It will be a fitting last fic in many ways which I will explain when I post it. Not my best fic, but a good way to say goodbye. I'm gonna try and post it on the 23rd, the anniversary of Charlie's canon death. So yeah, after a year it really is time to quit mourning a guy who doesn't exist anyway.

1. I've always had this little obsession with connecting Charlie and Penny in some way, since they are my favourite character and the character I most relate too. I often like to imagine them in a big sister/little brother type relationship. One little thing I was grateful for in 'Looking Glass' was the Charlie contacting Penny moment, especially since I had written the scene in ToF months before the ep aired!

2. Hardest POV to write is Sayid. I just don't feel intelligent enough to write Sayid, even though he is one of my favourites. I was also daunted by Faraday, mostly because I haven't seen several eps of S4. Easiest I suppose would be Desmond since I wrote his POV the most. Charlie too, though I prefer to write him from the outside looking in. I've also found Rose and Hurley very agreeable.

3. After the S3 finale I would've chosen any of the Charlie lives fics, my favourites being the paradox theory or the Looking Glass being a portal. But the way things have turned out in S4, I would probably say 'Blessed are the Forgetful'. I've got to the stage where I don't even want them to bring Charlie back to life. I would just like them to have an episode or moment when Charlie's sacrifice somehow achieves a rescue and the other characters pay their respects to his memory.

4. There were LOTs of fics I meant to write but couldn't. You may see them authored by sapphirechild though! I'm passing on my dark bunnies to her for her darkfic table. There is one sapph wrote recently called 'No Sancturary' which was an idea of mine. I've another idea for a fic where Charlies parents die that I've also given to sapph. I shy away from stuff that is TOO dark. I have serious trouble writing about Charlies canon death. I wanted to write Charlies POV and then Desmonds POV of the moment, but I chickened out. Partly because I knew that I wouldn't blind myself to reality like Darlton did and pretend drowning is a painless peaceful experience. When people drown they thrash, they panic, its agony, etc. So part of me wanted to write that but I couldn't go through with it.

5. This is a question I struggle to answer. What do you think are my strengths and weaknesses?! I have real trouble stepping back from my writing and judging it objectively. When I try to do that I usually get very hyper-critical.

Good questions!!

1. Cool! I like that detail. I think I remember them connecting in ToF - wasn't it in a dream sequence where she offered him tea?

2. I also find Hurley agreeable. Maybe that is because he usually is quite open with his feelings. There is no need to over think his dialogue or thoughts. I also agree Sayid is tough and I stayed away from him for a long time. But you do (did!) great with both Sayid and Faraday. Desmond is very hard for me.

3. I would love to see Blessed are the Forgetful because it would mean Desmond cared, Faraday is a good soul and we would get to see Charlie again. Also, as much as I have written and enjoyed reading about spirit guide Charlie, I would prefer that he is at peace and uninvolved with the on and off island drama.

4. It’s interesting that you see yourself shying away from dark. I think a lot of your stories go into dark places: Sayid's choice in BtH comes to mind, as done the starvation scenes in ToF. Maybe the difference is that you tackle the darkness canon throws out (until it got to be too much) but you are hesitant to add to this darkness with scenarios you imagine. I started No Sanctuary but I stopped reading. It was well written but not an issue I wanted to explore.

5. I think your strength is your prose, ability to plot and great sense of empathy for the characters. Considering you hit all the things I love in a fic writer and your stories are among my favourites, you have no weaknesses in my books. I do think we see things differently on the occasion but that is just a matter of personal taste or dissimilar levels of disappointment in the show itself. For example, would you agree that you expect more from the characters morally (in fic and in canon) and I am easier to let them off the hook?

Yeah! The Charlie/Penny dream with the tea started it all and I just kept wanting to connect them from then on. I didn't think I'd find Des easy to write, but I see him as an introvert and a deep thinker which makes for a good POV character.

I like that Dom got to reinvent Charlie as a cool spirit guide, but I don't see that character as the real Charlie, mostly because I find the undead element of the show unconvincing. I would rather see his living self in flashbacks. And yeah, I agree that Charlie has done enough and should be at peace.

Well, the Des/Charlie "Fate will hunt you down and kill you no matter what" story is a dark disturbing concept for me, but I see it as being a fantastical and existential scenario. The unreality of it lets me deal with dark themes in a way I'm comfortable with. Abuse fics, torture fics or death fics without a supernatural veiling are harder to face.

TBH I think I object to Darltons sense of morality more than the characters. They just have attitudes I strongly oppose, like the way they think they can make Ben a sympathetic good guy just by bringing in other baddies and having them shoot Alex in the head. They also glorify violence and death, which bugs me, and I hate this theme of senseless bullyish fatalism that they are selling. When I rage at the characters mortality it is really directed at the writers. A writer like yourself can take the same situations and add a moral core that Darlton leave out. With Desmonds recent portrayal I don't think they are even intending for him to be morally ambiguious. I just think they aren't concentrating and have dropped the ball on his continuity, which bugs even more.

Well, one can just hope inspiration randomly strikes you without caring about canon after your last fanom story! That's an impressive list, indeed. And there are some I hadn't read that I'm definitely going to check out one of these days. Questions.. well, I'd love to ask some!

- Is there some character you hadn't really cared much about before that you found out was compelling to write and that you appreciated better after writing him/her?

- Have you ever slipped some details about yourself in some character (i.e. saying your character's favorite song is your favorite song or something along those lines)?

- What's the story you liked best writing/the one you liked less writing?

- Did you ever start one of your stories thinking that it would go one way and then it turned out to end in a completely different way that planned?

I think if I write again I'll do something like zeldas pirate series where I just take the characters I love and put them in an AU world. Thats something I've never done which seems rather fun!

Is there some character you hadn't really cared much about before that you found out was compelling to write and that you appreciated better after writing him/her?
You're gonna like this answer because I would probably say Boone and Sawyer. I'm not a fan of canon!Sawyer, but when I read or write Sawyer in fic he is rather agreeable. I think they over-do Sawyers role on the show and turn him into a caricature of himself, but toned down I rather like him. Boone just took me by surprise. I didn't feel like I knew his character very well because he died so early but I just found myself bonding with his cool-zen-undead self.

Have you ever slipped some details about yourself in some character (i.e. saying your character's favorite song is your favorite song or something along those lines)?
Crap. I'm sure I have but I can't think of a specific example!

What's the story you liked best writing/the one you liked less writing?
The stories I liked writing best were my co-fics with pace and sapph, because it's fun collaborating. I especially enjoyed writing 'The Spirit of Friendship' with pacey because we had a lot of fun with it and I think it shows in the writing. The only fic I didn't enjoy writing was 'Belly of a Whale' which is weird because it's actually one of the fics I'm most proud of. It was just hell to write for some reason. My latest fanon fic (your Boone one) was quiet painful too, but necessary.

Did you ever start one of your stories thinking that it would go one way and then it turned out to end in a completely different way that planned?
Yeah! 'Trials of Fate' started off as a oneshot. Then I decided to write another chapter from Charlies POV. Then it snowballed into an 8 chapter saga and it wasn't until the last minute I thought up how to end it. 'He is Risen' is another fic I was gonna end in a simple way, but readers were asking for more so it grew another chapter. Another fic that really surprised me was 'Only the good die young' (possibly my favourite of my own stories). I just wanted to write a simple little fic about the Rose/Charlie friendship but it turned into a eulogy of sorts. The fic got a really strong response which I wasn't expecting at all, but was very satisfied with.

Thanks for your questions!

AUs are definitely fun, you should try one sometimes! ;) [speaks the one who writes one every six months and always chooses suicide settings..]

I agree on Sawyer being a pretty agreeable person, when not overplayed. Oh, BTW, you remember that you gave me that Charlie/Sawyer prison bunny thing? I think I'll give it a go sooner than later, it goes well with one prompt I have and I think I had some ideas to make it work.

The fun with Boone is that they didn't do the effort to flesh him out as they could, so going with what you know and do their job is a kinda rewarding experience IMHO, I can only be glad he bonded with you! And I know what's it like to be proud of something you find hard writing. Don't talk to me about that Boone dying POV fic.. *sighs*

You're welcome, those were interesting answers indeed!

Wow! I'm so excited to hear you are doing the prison bunny! I've been handing that bunny around for adoption for ages. I didn't think it would ever get fed! And I've been missing toestastegoods Charlie/Sawyer AU fics so I'm excited.

I think I was channelling your Boone more so than canon!Boone when I wrote that last fic. Sort of the same way that when I write Claire I base her more on sapphire_childs Claire than the vapid canon Claire. It is cool and rewarding to flesh out characters who are undeveloped on the show.

Give me prison stuff and it probably will, I've got a total weakness for that kind of setting. Now I'll just finish that forsaken Desmond table and then I can give other characters a go ;)

My Boone or show!Boone, it's all good. We're not so picky ;) I agree on canon Claire. I just can't channel her because I can't find anything to channel right now. Pity because I really wanted to write that confrontation *sighs*.

I don't have any questions for you love, just my appreciation for all this wonderful fic that I am now adding to my memories. It's been a great ride with you writing and reading and I look forward to more cyber-companionship as we explore other fandoms together. I can't say how much longer I'm going to be inspired to write Charlie fic (I'm not particularly inspired right now) but we'll always have an impressive catalog to look back on, and more than that, I'm just awfully glad we met. *hugs*

Thanks pace! *hugs and sniffles* I really do see you as my fanfic mentor and I think it's fitting that my last fic (if it turns out to be my last fic) will be based on your fanon. I think AUs, crossovers and other fandoms is the way to go from now on. The whole storyline in Lost has become absurd and uninspiring for me, besides the Charlie woes.